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Why Women Find It Hard to Talk About Money

  • Writer: Davina Jackson
    Davina Jackson
  • Mar 19, 2024
  • 7 min read

Welcome to The Woman CFO – a space crafted just for you, where we embark on a journey of financial empowerment.


Money - it's a topic that impacts every aspect of our lives, but is often one of the hardest subjects to talk about, especially for women.


From cultural taboos to societal expectations, there are numerous factors that contribute to the reluctance many women feel when it comes to discussing finances openly.


In today’s blog post, we're going to explore why women find it hard to talk about money and look at the complex web of barriers that often shroud this important conversation - from societal norms, to lack of financial education, and fear of judgment.


By shedding light on these barriers and exploring strategies for overcoming them, we hope to empower women to break the silence and embolden them to take full control of their financial futures and foster the (much) needed dialogue to make change.


Are you ready to dive in? Let's go.


3 women seated in a circle and chatting

 

Instant Gratification Zone: Skip to the Good Stuff



 

Breaking the Silence on Women and Money


a woman saying "shh" while holding a finger in front of mouth

Let’s start by acknowledging the elephant in the room: talking about money isn't easy.


Whether it's discussing our salary with a colleague, negotiating a raise with our boss, or revealing our financial struggles to a friend, money conversations can feel fraught with tension and uncertainty. And for many of us, it can stir up feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, and even shame.


But here's the thing: avoiding conversations about money won't make our financial challenges disappear.


In fact, sweeping them under the rug can often exacerbate the problem, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and powerless.


By opening up about our financial realities and seeking support and guidance from others, we can gain valuable insights, resources, and strategies for navigating the complexities of personal finance.


But here is where it gets (even more) complicated…


For generations, women have been conditioned to believe that money matters are best left unspoken and relegated to the realm of taboo topics.


We've been taught to prioritize politeness over transparency, to avoid causing discomfort or offense by broaching the subject of our financial well-being.


But the truth is, avoiding conversations about money has only perpetuated the cycle of silence, reinforcing harmful stereotypes.


It's (beyond) time that we challenge these norms and create space for open, honest dialogue about money and our finances.


Because - let’s be honest - women live longer, have unique needs, tend to be primary caretakers, and are most likely to be head of the household. We absolutely need our finances to align. Period.


Now let's dive into the nitty-gritty.


 

Factors Behind Why Women Find It Hard to Talk About Money


2 women examining financial documents together

Why do so many women find it hard to talk about money?


There are numerous factors at play from societal expectations and cultural norms to a lack of financial education and confidence,


Let's talk about these factors in detail and explore their impact on women's ability to engage in open and honest money conversations.


Factor 1: Societal Expectations and Gender Norms

Society's entrenched gender norms have long relegated discussions about money to the domain of men, leaving women feeling marginalized and inadequate in financial matters.


These traditional gender roles have dictated that men are the primary breadwinners and decision-makers in financial affairs, while women are often expected to prioritize family and domestic responsibilities.


This societal construct has perpetuated the notion that women lack the competence or authority to engage in meaningful discussions about money.


As a result, women have internalized these beliefs, leading to feelings of dis-empowerment and reluctance to assert themselves in financial conversations.


So much so that a survey conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education found a staggering 56% of women admit they would rather discuss details of their own death than talk about money with a loved one.


Factor 2: Lack of Financial Education and Self-Doubt

Historically, women have been significantly less likely than men to receive formal financial education, leading to lower levels of financial literacy and self-assurance.


These systematic disparities in access to financial education have not only perpetuated a cycle of limited knowledge and confidence in managing finances, but have translated into a reluctance to engage in money conversations or make informed financial decisions independently.


This is supported by a survey published by the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) that reports only 18% of women expressed feelings of confidence in managing money, compared to 35% of men.


Factor 3: Optics Matter - The Weight of Perceived Expectations

One of the most significant barriers hindering women from discussing money openly is the fear of judgement and vulnerability.


Women often feel pressured to uphold an image of financial success, fearing that acknowledging financial challenges or struggles may lead to negative perceptions from others.


This fear of being judged as incompetent or incapable of managing finances can be deeply ingrained, particularly in a society that places a premium on financial prowess.


What’s more, the vulnerability associated with disclosing financial hardships can evoke feelings of shame or inadequacy, further deterring women from engaging in candid discussions about money matters.


In fact, research conducted by Northwestern Mutual found that nearly half of women (49%) feel judged by others based on their financial decisions, highlighting the pervasive impact of societal expectations on women's attitudes towards money.


Factor 4: Cultural Taboos and Privacy Concerns - Silence and Secrecy

In many cultures, money is considered a private matter, and discussing financial affairs is often viewed as taboo or inappropriate.


This cultural norm reinforces the idea that money matters should be kept strictly confidential, making it challenging for women to seek advice or support when facing financial challenges.


Also, concerns about privacy, such as fears of identity theft or financial exploitation, may further deter women from disclosing information about their finances.


Factor 5: Relationship Dynamics and Power Imbalance

The dynamics of relationships can significantly impact women's propensity to discuss money openly.


In relationships where there is a perceived power imbalance or unequal distribution of financial responsibilities, women may feel marginalized or dis-empowered in financial discussions.


This power dynamic can manifest in various ways, including a lack of confidence in asserting financial goals or needs, or a reluctance to engage in financial decision-making processes.


Another piece to this puzzle is financial arguments - which are a leading cause of stress in relationships, highlighting the importance of open communication and mutual respect in financial matters.


The American Psychological Association's research underscores this, revealing that financial conflicts are cited as the primary source of tension in relationships - further highlighting the need for equitable partnerships and transparent communication in navigating financial discussions.


 

The Path Forward: Actionable Solutions


"She comes first" sign on side of building

The barriers to women discussing money openly are multifaceted and deeply ingrained in societal norms and cultural expectations.


If we address these challenges head-on and implement practical strategies, we can create an environment where women feel confident and empowered to engage in meaningful conversations about their finances.


But it all starts with actionable solutions and a collective effort, from challenging gender norms and providing financial education to fostering open communication and creating safe spaces for discussion.


Let's explore them in detail.


Action 1: Promote Comprehensive Financial Education

To empower women with the necessary knowledge and skills to navigate the complexities of personal finance, there must be a concerted effort to promote comprehensive financial education.


This education should encompass topics such as budgeting, saving, investing, debt management, and retirement planning.


Schools, workplaces, and community organizations can play a crucial role in providing accessible and inclusive financial education programs tailored to the needs of women of all ages and backgrounds.


Action 2: Foster Safe and Supportive Dialogue Spaces

Creating safe and supportive spaces where women can openly discuss money matters is essential for breaking down barriers and fostering a sense of empowerment.


Women's networking groups, financial literacy workshops, and online communities dedicated to women's financial empowerment can serve as valuable platforms for sharing experiences, seeking advice, and building confidence in financial decision-making.


By nurturing a culture of support and understanding, these spaces can help women overcome feelings of isolation and fear associated with discussing finances.


Action 3: Encourage Transparent Communication in Relationships

Transparent communication about money within personal and professional relationships is crucial for building trust, understanding, and collaboration.


Encouraging women to initiate open discussions about finances with their partners, family members, and friends can help break down taboos and misconceptions surrounding money.


Additionally, providing resources and guidance on effective communication techniques, such as active listening and empathy, can empower women to assert their financial goals and needs confidently.


Action 4: Lead by Example and Advocate for Change

As individuals, we can lead by example by openly discussing money matters and demonstrating healthy financial habits.


By sharing our financial goals, challenges, and successes with others, we can inspire and empower women to take control of their finances.


Also, advocating for systemic changes - such as gender-inclusive financial policies, increased representation of women in leadership roles within the financial industry, and equitable access to financial resources - can help dismantle institutional barriers and create a more inclusive and supportive financial landscape for women.


 

Let’s Recap


A vintage typewriter with the word "review" typed out

In wrapping up our exploration of why women find it challenging to discuss money openly, it's imperative to emphasize the critical importance of breaking the silence and fostering a culture of financial empowerment.


By acknowledging and addressing the multifaceted barriers that hinder women from engaging in money conversations, we can pave the way for greater financial equality and autonomy.


As we've seen, societal expectations, lack of financial education, fear of judgment, cultural taboos, and relationship dynamics all play significant roles in perpetuating the silence around women and money.


Only through concerted efforts and practical solutions, can we dismantle these barriers and create a more inclusive and supportive environment for women to assert themselves confidently in financial matters.


It's crucial to advocate for increased financial education initiatives targeted specifically at women, ensuring that they have access to the knowledge and skills needed to navigate complex financial landscapes successfully.


Also, creating safe spaces for dialogue, promoting transparent communication, and leading by example are all integral steps toward empowering women to take control of their financial destinies.


Ultimately, by embracing open dialogue, breaking down stereotypes, and supporting one another on our financial journeys, we can collectively work towards a future where women feel empowered, confident, and in control of their financial futures.


Let's continue to champion financial empowerment for women and strive for a world where talking about money is not only accepted but encouraged as a fundamental aspect of achieving true financial well-being.



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